I think I want a robot
I think we’re all past due
For robots that will do the things
That we don’t want to do

I think I want a robot
That can use a mop and pail
Not a half-brained little vacuum
That looks like a bathroom scale

I think I want a robot
That can change and make the bed
That will make the toilet sparkle
Just like a bald man’s head

I think I want a robot
That can wash and iron shirts
That can cook up tasty meals
Complete with fine desserts

I think I want a robot
That can’t become self-aware
That won’t turn into SkyNet
Or throw me down the stairs

I think I want a robot
That can clean and mend and fix
That can repair a leaky faucet
And serve sirloin steak at 6:00

I think I want a robot
That will follow Asimov’s Laws
And won’t spend memory searching
For a “kill the humans” clause

I think I want a robot
That can also work outdoors
That’s just as good at mowing grass
As it is at waxing floors

I think I want a robot
With a lifetime warranty
And when my lifetime’s over
It will help to bury me